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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24405667">Martyr</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/luciferr/pseuds/luciferr'>luciferr</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Denial of Feelings, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Sad, dose of fluff, i love them, man idk how to tag, mostly angst, niki is left behind, rinniki, selfdenial</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:48:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,812</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24405667</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/luciferr/pseuds/luciferr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Why are you angry, Niki~? You’re acting like a disgruntled wife. Hahaha! If you frown like that you’ll get wrinkles, y’know.” Again with that never-changing laugh and provoking words. The heavy arm was draped over his shoulder like it was the most natural thing ever. </p>
<p>Then Rinne pinched his ass. And kissed him. And said he wanted a wife like Niki before kissing him again.</p>
<p>Then Rinne left.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amagi Rinne/Shiina Niki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>99</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Martyr</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Hello sir, how may I help you?” The receptionist was a petite woman with severely permed peach-blond hair. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shiina Niki hesitates for a moment before responding, “Oh, uh, I have an appointment at 2pm. It’s made under the name ‘Amagi Rinne’, for Shiina Niki.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span>Peach-blond hair bobs behind the computer screen. Niki chews on the inside of his cheek. It’s been awhile since he last visited a hair salon. Whenever his hair had gotten long he had just </span><strike>(begged)</strike> gotten Rinne to cut it for him at home. The lady resurfaces with a large smile. “Ah! Shiina Niki! I know you! You’re that idol, right? With Crazy:B?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Niki lets out a dry laugh. For now he was still an idol. “Yeah.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, excuse me, I got too excited for a moment there. Yes, Shiina Niki-san for 2pm with Mori. It says here that the treatment has already been paid for by Amagi-san? Would you like to request for any other services?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, no. It’s alright. Thank you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Niki stuffs his hands into his pockets and takes a seat. This was another one of that shitty idiot’s shitty show of gratitude. Gambling with money that wasn’t his, then buying him a gift that he doesn’t need, expecting a big show of gratitude in return. Like hell.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There were absolutely no redeeming characteristics about Amagi Rinne. From the start to the end, it has always been about what </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rinne</span>
  </em>
  <span> wants, what </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rinne</span>
  </em>
  <span> likes. Just a selfish, shitty asshole that he wants out of his life.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Niki-kyun~ Niki~i,” Rinne had started whining the moment he set foot through the front door that day. Rinne snaked his arms about Niki’s waist mischievously, bending down to hook his chin over Niki’s shoulder. He smelt like tobacco and alcohol and apple-scented hair wax. The smell of a bad adult, Niki thought. “Niki~i, Rinne-kun is tired and would like a sandwich.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Niki promptly ignored him, but that made Rinne all the more insistent for attention. “Niki! What is our Niki cookin’ today?”, saying as he lifts his arm from around Niki’s waist to pull on his hair. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span>“Ow—</span> ow! That hurts! Go away!” Niki hated it when Rinne did that. Rinne liked that Niki hated it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Rinne-kun is in a good mood so he will let you go for today!”, Rinne proclaims as he releases Niki and heads for the fridge. “D’you know why? It’s ‘cause I was on a roll today! Hahahaha! At the pachinko, the balls just kept falling like rain!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The sound of a beer can opening interrupts him momentarily before he continues on. “And y’know what, Niki? You should be in a good mood today too! Because I booked you an appointment at the hair place! With some famous guy! Because I was feelin’ nice! Your hair’s gonna be real shiny!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You what?”, Niki spins around, hand still on the pan handle. Rinne was looking at him smugly, his lips tilted up in a grin. Like a dog waiting for praise, Niki had thought. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Niki couldn’t suppress the incoming wave of irritation. If you’re gonna be a shitty person, then do it thoroughly. Being nice all of a sudden confuses people. Niki didn’t need this hair appointment; doing unnecessary things will just make him hungry. The idol world didn’t need a revolutionary, they didn’t need a martyr, so why would you pin yourself onto the cross? Why...</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shiina-san, please come this way.” Peach-blond broke his train of thoughts. Despite tottering on a pair of baby pink heels, she was still an entire head shorter than Niki. Would Rinne like this type of woman? There must be many attractive people in his hometown. No doubt, he already has a new person to warm his bed. Niki pressed his fingernails into the flesh of his palm as a stinging rebuke. Who cares about Rinne?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sits down before a mirror, and Peach-blond wraps a cover over him. A good-looking man with equally permed hair came behind him, his face all smiles. He smelled like a noxious mixture of bleach and cologne. At his waist he kept several pairs of silver scissors. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow, Shiina-san. You have really nice hair,” Mori exclaimed softly as he combed through Niki’s hair.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks, it’s my charm point,” Niki replied reflexively before wishing he didn’t. If he wasn’t bundled up by Peach-blond’s cover he might have slapped himself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Mori didn’t seem to notice, because he continued, “Has your hair been dyed before? If not I recommend our most popular treatment. It’ll keep your hair glossy and —"<br/>
</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, sorry. Actually, could I have a haircut instead?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Pardon?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Niki took a deep breath. “Could you cut my hair, please?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Mori met his eyes in the mirror. He looked surprised. “Oh! Are you sure? The treatment has already been paid for though. And your hair is so nice too…” With the regret dripping off his voice, you almost thought it was Mori's hair being cut off.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Niki pressed his lips together into a smile and tried to relax the numb muscles in his face. Was he sure? Even he himself doesn’t know. That’s why he loitered outside the salon for half an hour before stepping in. Squatting by the door underneath the vicious summer sun, he picked at his nails and thought of a thousand reasons why entering would be a dumb idea. Though, as God would have it, nobody contacted him today; no emergency rehearsals, no team meetings, no news of a missing roommate. Today the world had forgotten about him. No excuse was given to him to miss the appointment, so he turned up grudgingly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He tapped the side of his neck with a flat palm. “Please cut it here.” Like an executioner testing his knife, Niki thought. Except he was both the executioner and the criminal. Without killing his old self, he would wander through this new world a lost ghost. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“He said he was already an adult, so it was time for him to live with his feet on the ground.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Hiiro had told him. Then Niki too, will live with his feet on the ground. He will bid farewell to the Rinne that relied on him, as well as the Niki that Rinne relied on. Niki will quit all this idol stuff and live like a proper chef, as he should have done years ago. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And so when the scissors bit through his hair he shut his eyes and let the pain melt the ghost of his past. He had been living in the air for too long, buoyed by Rinne’s fickle flurries, an ephemeral high. Niki has forgotten about the dark solid asphalt, onto which if you fall you shall bleed. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is this length ok?” Mori asked as he dusted off the back of Niki’s neck with quick flicks of his palm. Through the mirror, Niki could see the pile of silver hair that lay at Mori’s feet. The hair he cherished and treasured, stepped on by a stranger into the dirt and dust on the floor. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>How ironic! He had used Rinne’s last gift to him to get rid of what Rinne liked the most. He had his hair cut off in spite, but to spite who? Niki let out a shaky breath. Who is there left to spite? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Niki squeezed his face into a smile. “Yes, thank you. It is just what I envisioned.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Peach-blond came and freed him from his bib, and he stumbled out of the salon with a lick of cold wind against his exposed neck. His head was reeling from thinking all these unnecessary thoughts. He was desperate to get home to cook a meal, to feel the familiar handle of the cooking knife under his thumb and hear the gentle thuds of its blade against his chopping board. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He walked briskly along the pavement, chin tucked towards his chest. It was already nearing the end of summer, yet the heat still pressed down relentlessly upon his back. Niki could feel the beads of sweat crawl down his back like a hundred hard-backed insects. His short hair stuck to the sides of his face, and he sloppily swiped them away. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>All he wanted was a stupid thank you from Rinne. Just a “Thank you for making dinner, Niki”, or a “Thank you for paying the bills, Niki.” Even a dog knows to wag its tail at the hand that feeds it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Several mornings after the angry mob he found the bed empty. A few lonely strands of hair clung to the dented pillow beside him. There was a yellow post-it note on the dining table, pressed under a glass cup. “Niki. Went back to hometown. Thanks for everything.” was scrawled in black marker. “What the hell,” Niki murmured under his breath. “Idiot didn’t even bother to sign his own name.” He folded it in fours and reached for his wallet, then he let out a choked laugh. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rinne had emptied his wallet last night. The shock knocked the air out of his lungs and he stumbled backwards into a chair. Again, always like this. Always about what Rinne wants. What Niki wants is like an afterthought, lingering in minds but only acted upon when convenient. Niki shoved the note angrily into his wallet. There was a weight in his stomach, heavy as a moon. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rinne had left with only the clothes on his back. If not for the note, Niki would have thought Rinne had just gone to the pachinko again. He would have called him, then given up. If not for the note, Niki would have made that dumb steak Rinne had wanted, then waited for him by the dinner table like a fool. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>How unlike him to be considerate enough to let Niki know he was leaving for good. Did he finally find a conscience? Rinne leaving, Rinne thanking him, and Rinne being considerate? Two consolation prizes and a jackpot in a single day! Niki supposed this would be what “on a roll” felt like, though he could not derive even a shred of joy from it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Niki turned the corner to arrive at his apartment building. Clang. His boots on the metal staircase made a fearsome noise. Clang. Each step the sound of a knell. Clang. He wanted to tell it to shut up. He wanted to tell the world to shut the hell up. He pushed open his apartment’s door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Tadaima,” he whispered to the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okaeri,” the silence thundered back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So many things were out of place. There was an unfamiliar coolness on the back of his neck, like the unfamiliar emptiness of his apartment and the unfamiliar solitude. The apartment he had lived in for the past years suddenly felt like a stranger’s home. He choked down the urge to escape and closed the door behind him, panting slightly. When it was so quiet, the only sounds he could hear was the thumping of his heart and the rush of blood in his ears.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Niki switched on the television and let the news announcer’s drone drown out the unbearable roar of silence in his ears. He’ll make a meal. That’s what he was the best at. He needed the beat of the stove’s dull heat to calm him down. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He peered into the refrigerator. It looked like the alcohol aisle of the supermarket. Niki clicked his tongue in annoyance. Why did Rinne have to buy so much beer if he was just going to pack up and leave? At times like these Niki seriously considered hunting Rinne down with a sledgehammer and forcing him to apologize. Pros? Rinne cleans up his own mess. Cons? There is always the slight possibility that Rinne snatches the hammer and makes Niki hand over his money. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Niki sighed and pulled open the bottom drawer. Eggs and half a daikon. In the freezer was a stack of microwave pizzas and a slab of marbled beef sealed in cling film. What could he make with this pathetic line-up?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Cook steak for me, Niki! I’ll only accept steak tonight, got it?” Rinne says as he reaches around Niki for a can of beer. Somehow, even in Niki’s imagination Rinne is rude. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wondered if Rinne was eating well. Probably not, he decided. From the sound of it, Niki didn’t think Rinne’s hometown would have beer or cigarettes. No refrigerators nor pachinkos. They might not even know what pasta is. The thought of Rinne sulking over food almost made Niki laugh.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok, customer. One order of steak, coming right up,” Niki muttered under his breath. A~ah. He has really become the perfect servant, tailoring his tastes completely to suit another’s preferences.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He fished out the pack of beef and checked its expiry date. It was yesterday. He shrugged and set about preparing it. Niki’s thoughts did not wander when he cooked. He was solely focused on the tender slice of his knife and the sizzle of the meat upon the pan. Sear and add butter, then slide the steak onto clean china. Return the pan over fire, and add red wine and herbs. When the smell of wine and rosemary begin to permeate the air, pour over steak all the while stirring. Set the pan in the sink before plucking a few leaves of parsley as garnish. Niki smiled. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His heart was no longer threatening to leap out his throat. The drone of the news announcer sounded like a monk’s sutra, and it hushed the blood in his ears into the wispy murmurs of a stream. He had known the kitchen since before he even started to walk, and its familiar warmth and scents told him that he was going to be alright. Niki felt as if a worldly calm had settled over him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He ate leaning against the kitchen counter, not bothering to set the table when he was just eating alone. He placed a slice into his mouth and felt the buttery fats coat his tongue and throat. It really was a good cut of beef, matching up to the marbling that had previously been on its surface. It was the type of expensive stuff that Niki would never have gotten for himself. Rinne really bought himself premium ingredients this time, huh.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Niki-kyun~ ♪ Look at what I bought! It’s wagyu! I want to eat steak tomorrow, got it?” In his usual manner, Rinne had pounced on Niki the moment he returned home. “Ni~ Ki~ Make sure to look up yummy recipes, ok? If you mess up my steak, you’ll hafta watch out!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But Rinne had only bought enough meat for one person, so Niki scolded him for it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you angry, Niki~? You’re acting like a disgruntled wife. Hahaha! If you frown like that you’ll get wrinkles, y’know.” Again with that never-changing laugh and provoking words. The heavy arm was draped over his shoulder like it was the most natural thing ever. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then Rinne pinched his ass. And kissed him. And said he wanted a wife like Niki before kissing him again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then Rinne left.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Onii-san said he’s going back so that I can stay here.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He had heard from Hiiro. In the end, Rinne was just being Rinne, doing what he himself wanted. Shrugging off his life in the city like a worn coat because he could. Leaving to save his little brother, because it was within his power to do so.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Why did he have to always play the martyr? Why did Rinne always have to be the good guy? Forcing the unit to crash lives and acting like a hooligan, no sane person would do that, right? It would be like rubbing your own face into dirt. But Rinne had to be the hero, had to save the idol industry that used him till he was dry and threw him away like garbage. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span>Then, who’s left to save Shiina Niki? Who will give him his happy ending? Niki put down the knife and rubbed his eyes furiously. Nobody will, because Shiina Niki is an afterthought, strung along by Amagi Rinne because it was convenient for him. </span>From the moment he was born, he had pulled the poor lot. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He could see the younger Rinne digging through the dumpster behind his restaurant. Niki had picked him off the streets like a stray dog, fed and clothed him out of compassion or something else. He begged the restaurant’s customers to introduce them to the idol industry, and held Rinne’s hand as he stumbled his way through. Niki watched Rinne sparkle like a glass prism catching light, then watched as the prism shattered and was stained a dark black. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Dumbass. I would have left with you,” Niki muttered to his plate.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So Niki hated Rinne for doing this to him. It was a yoke off his shoulders when Rinne left. Because Niki hated Rinne. So why was Niki crying? </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yes i looked up the recipe for red wine steak to write this no it was not fun</p>
<p>haha also i wrote this write after chapter 155 was released but when i wanted to upload it akira dropped 168 so i had to do some editing hehe but i had fun writing this! rinniki supremacy! </p>
<p>i really had to think a lot about what might happen had rinne just left without telling niki... he probably didn't want to trouble him any further? or i guess rinne is the type that's bad at goodbyes so he did this to avoid having to break the news to niki haha. rinne is the type to do nice things for people while sacrificing himself so i guess its like this with the idol industry, his brother, and niki as well? i tried to show the last one through the steak haha. hope you guys enjoyed it i guess.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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